What if FDR Were a Robot?: Why I am Not Looking Forward to November
Now that I have your attention.
My family and I were sitting down around a good meal. My little brother has been on a bit of a History kick this evening, and we started talking about Franklin Delano Roosevelt. Mostly in response to a four hour documentary the history channel ran last night. We got to talking about political parties through history, and my little brother asked which party FDR belonged to.
My father replied that he was a Democrat.
But, that if he were alive today, he would be a Republican.
This struck me as funny.
Roosevelt? New Deal Roosevelt? Roosevelt, the F of the WTF American Fascist Trinity, Roosevelt? (The other two being cousin Teddy and “my only regret is that it is all so terribly true” Wilson) …A Republican?
For a second, I thought my father was insulting his own party. Then I realized, with no small amount of horror, was that his observation was all so terribly true. I left the table with this on my mind, and then I suddenly realized two things. A) If Roosevelt was alive today, it wouldn’t matter which party he paid lip service to, and B) If Roosevelt were alive today, he would win the ‘08 election, hard.
So lets think about this for a second. Lets pretend some mad scientist resurrects FDR as a robot, and Robo-FDR (RFDR) runs for president. He would win. Why? Well, he would be the only charismatic pro-war pro-healthcare pro-Jesus candidate on the scene. The Republicans would get their war, the Democrats their socialized medicine, and everyone else gets someone that they don’t have to de facto hate.
Well, except for us pro-choice capitalists, libertarians, classical liberals, Objectivists and general lovers of the Constitution. We get left out in the cold, but we’re used to it by now.
Right now, while I don’t dwell on it often, the prospect of the next election has filled me with dread. I rather wish I could have gone and voted in the last one. At least then I could have had the savage pleasure of voting against old man Bush. Screw the idiot Kerry. Getting Bush out would be more than worth it. Now I have no one to vote for, and EVERYTHING to vote against. Where is an anti-war anti-healthcare man supposed to stand? Each platform is just another trap for whittling away my liberty. Where is the platform for pro-liberty?! Where is freedom?! I am forced to decide between having either to suffer the phantom of a draft, or the scourge of socialized medicine. At best, McCain will go and maybe actually start killing some bad guys, but I have my doubts. At best, Obama will set up a dysfunctional tax burden of a system and nothing more, but I have doubts.
Or maybe both are just blustering and strutting across the stage. God, I can only hope.
At times I lean towards McCain. Then I remember “Oh, wait, yeah, worthless war in Iraq, and Don’t forget about Jesus!” Then I tilt in favor of Obama, but then I recall “Oh, yeah, capitalism is a good thing.” So it comes down to the rotten choice between paying for a war with my wallet, or one with my body and my rights. Stopping the rise of the Mighty Right is a good thing, but lets not forget the poor warped and already beaten medical industry.
The country is rolling downhill. It seems right whenever everything starts to go good in this country, it all has to go to the runs. The political system has become a defunct piece of warbling garbage. Two parties of bull and bollox? And now we get all the fun flavors of what we hate being rolled into one as each party becomes more and more like the other. Whom do I vote against? I have no real idea. Who do I vote for?
Why not just get it over-with;
At least HE makes sense.
Leave a Reply